About us

In 1964, Dr Aaron Beck cured social anxiety.

He developed the most well-researched and widely accepted method of treating it and other mental illnesses like depression.

It uses Stoic philosophy and it's why we created Reliq; here’s how:

Trained in psychoanalysis, Beck was fed up with its lengthy, abstract methods.

He wanted a practical approach that would achieve faster and better results for his patients.

Patients that thought they were ‘unsolvable,’ that thought they would be anxious, depressed, cowardly forever.

Determined to alleviate their pain, he started developing what we now know to be cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).

Beck suggests that most emotional problems, like depression and anxiety, stem from distorted and automatic thought patterns.

These thought patterns are unconscious and habitual, meaning you don’t even realize how much they contribute to your emotional suffering.

These negative thought patterns are immediate, reflexive and irrational.

For example: a person who struggles with low self-esteem walks into a room and automatically thinks:

"Everyone here is judging me."

This thought is not based on factual evidence, only deeply ingrained beliefs.

Over time, these automatic thoughts become a habitual part of your thinking.

They go unchallenged, burrowing deeper into your mind, leading to anxiety, sadness, and hopelessness.

CBT makes you aware of the irrational thinking patterns influencing your behaviours and emotions, bringing them to light instead of leaving them lurking in your subconscious.

Using the example of social anxiety:

Socratic questioning is used to make you reveal your self-sabotaging beliefs and assumptions, using reason to examine your thoughts.

For example:

If you think you’re awkward in social situations, you draw upon prior negative experiences to back this up—creating a vicious thought pattern over time.

CBT makes you dig deeper; you find that there are many alternative social encounters that went well that contradict the ‘vicious thought pattern.’

If you keep catching and reminding yourself of this, then a new rational thought pattern forms.

It’s crucial to also embody what the Stoic philosopher Epictetus calls the Dichotomy of Control.

Where you distinguish between what’s in your control (thoughts, actions, attitudes) and what’s not (external events, other people’s actions.)

If you focus on what you can’t control, e.g. whether people like you or not—you will end up socially anxious.

If you start to focus not on how other people react to you, but how you react to encounters with other people, you start creating more rational thought patterns.

For example:

If you say something weird when talking to someone, don’t react by telling yourself that the thing was bad and that the person you were talking to now thinks you’re an awkward loser.

Catch yourself and just see it as something that ‘was.’

View the thought without judgement.

Then challenge the thought, see it for what it is: an experience that has now built emotional resilience, making you more prepared for the next social encounter.

You might have read this and decided you now want to change how you live your life, but in a week or 2 you’ll go back to doing things the way you always have.

The Stoics came up with a solution for this as were equally aware of the problem.

They wanted to make Stoic philosophy a habit, not just a phase.

As Aristotle says, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

So they came up with maxims—short statements of truth—that they would repeat to themselves throughout the day and write down in journals they called “enchiridions.”

Which translates to a “handy-book” filled with practical advice for life’s challenges.

Stoics would carry these books filled with wisdom everywhere, so they could call upon their knowledge at a moments notice.

A maxim you could write for yourself is, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” ~ Seneca

A similar system of journaling is used in CBT.

Committing Stoicism to habit is the reason we created Reliq.

To educate with our newsletter and form the habit with our pendants as a wearable reminder.

Encapsulating and complementing timeless philosophies with premium, authentically designed jewellery, so you can wear your philosophy everywhere you go and embody it with everything you do.